and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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