my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
