Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
