Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize