Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
