Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
