Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
