So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
