My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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