you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you would pick up someone in the library
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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