I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
