Welp...herpes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
