i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
True strength comes from lack of pants
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
