It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
