i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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