why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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