i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
