how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
