we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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