I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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