HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is wine microwaveable?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
