I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
