jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
