sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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