I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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