Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
