thus making me awesome and them whores
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
