Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
