how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
