guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
