All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
