Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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