I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Everclear isn't food dammit
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
