my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
