You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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