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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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• (518): View more from New York

  im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  "Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?

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• (707): View more from California

  you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two

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