i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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