Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
