You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
