dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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