the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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