You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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