Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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