just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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