But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize