just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
