OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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