Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
