Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
