You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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