I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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