do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
