Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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