i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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