This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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