so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
