I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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