When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
