i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think i have two assholes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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