So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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