butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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