bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
