Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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