I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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